I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
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