yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
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