Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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