She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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