im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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