census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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