Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
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