At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
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