wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Randomize
