Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
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