So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
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