thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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