Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
where are you?
Hypothermia
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
