A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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