my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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