I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
