you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
