I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Randomize