this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
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It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
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That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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