His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
