i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
So much Jack, so little girl.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Randomize
