are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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