it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
