dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize