Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
