Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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