how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
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