Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Randomize
