party gras won. party gras always wins.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
