theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
