Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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