I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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