it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
