your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
