somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Randomize
