The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
