guys are not supposed to queef...right?
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
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