toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
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