I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
We left the knife in your bed.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize