i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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