I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
