Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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