You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
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She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
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Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
That's how pantless uber rides happen
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
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