3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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