That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
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