Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
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