he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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