he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
