I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol