Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
My breasts were aching with rage.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.