it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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