Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.