i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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