i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
