I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
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