Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
True strength comes from lack of pants
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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