Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
True strength comes from lack of pants
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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