i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Randomize
