Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
