there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
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