Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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