wake up i wanna do it froggy style
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Randomize
